Tarkblog

If you’ve ever spent a Saturday morning flipping through the channels, you’ve surely seen some of the infomercials that grace our presence on various cable stations .

Here was my encounter this morning after waking up at the inlaws’ house:

(flipping through channels, cut to scene of a man looking into the camera with another man, via telephone, that was talking to him)

Caller: Yeah, I’m a big guy
Man: Ok, so your bowel movements - are they what you would consider average length and width and color?
Caller: No, not really
Man: Okay, I was getting ready to ask if they were proportionate to your size but I’m guessing not, right?
Caller: No, they’re not
Man: Okay, I’m going to guess that you’re carrying around an extra 12-15 pounds of fecal material in your large intestine.

Another man: And that’s bad, right?

Man: Yes, it keeps dangerous toxins in your body. You see, at the age of fourty, we estimate that the average person carries around 5-7 pounds of fecal material stuck to the walls of their insides, and with our product “(can’t remember name)” you can cleanse all of that out and be healthier.

…

Man: Imagine being able to lose 5-7 pounds instantly. And we’re not talking just water loss here, but a cleansing release of built up fecal material from inside your body. You get that with __PRODUCTNAME__.

And it continued on for the rest of the 30 minutes with testamonials, “callers” calling in to ask questions, and more.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 16th, 2005 at 1:41 pm and is filed under Random Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.