Caffeine
Given the choice between soda and diet soda, I’ll choose diet. I’d rather not have the calories.
But, most of the time my only option also involves caffeine. Like today, when my combo meal came with a cup that I was only willing to fill with diet coke. And now I’m paying the price, it being 12:30 in the morning, I’m not the least bit tired - the wife has been asleep now for a few hours and I’m not even sure I can go lay down yet.
I drink coffee in the mornings, and it has no impact on my body’s ability to fall asleep. But you put a diet coke or two in me in the afternoon and it works its magic on my chemicals.
This = suxors.
Oh, and in completely unrelated news, a “nurse” showed up at the house today and took samples of our respective urines (for life insurance). I was unable to produce the amount of pee that she wanted, due to the fact that she got here about 15 minutes later than she said she would, and about 14 minutes after I had a monstrous blowout in the bowl which left both my bladder and my colon empty.
She managed to get what she needed out of my few droplets. It made me wonder how how the insurance company made any money, since our premium for the first year is like $160 dollars and it must have cost them at least $100 to send her out our house, with pee cups, test tubes, paper work, and the like.
And how do they know I didn’t cheat? She didn’t *watch* me pee in the cup. Maybe I could have had a phantom peer? There was a thermometer on the side of the cup, presumably to test to make sure the sample was “fresh”, but I could have microwaved a borrowed sample, right?
I’m going to try to go to sleep now, but I have to pee before I do (I drank a billionty glasses of water once she got here to get the juices flowing, and now I’m paying the price). Plus, I don’t want to pee on the bed.
July 20th, 2005 at 7:39 am
Oh man, you should have help that blowout for 14 more minutes. Then you could have handed her an overflowing cup of pee with poo splatter on the side.
July 20th, 2005 at 12:50 pm
or an overflowing cup of poo with pee splatter on the side! hilaryity would have ensued, butgtim.
In related news, I was awake until about 12:30 this morning because I drank half a can of regular coke at 9. Since I don’t have interweb at home I did the crossword in teh dubois paper, whic htook about 10 minutes. Then I laid in bed and dreamed up all the schemess I would enact once I win the powerball today.