Tarkblog

I went to the doctor today. And I took one for the team.

I’ve had IBS (Itchy butt syndrome) now for a while - probably 2 or 3 months. It hasn’t really been a big problem, but it’s an annoyance. And I knew what it meant - at the very least, I had hemorrhoids.

I’ve had them twice before (that I know of), both times in college. I can’t say *why* I got them, per se, but it must be something that I’m more akin to getting than the average bear. Not fun, but liveable.

Anyway, both times before - while they were uncomfortable, they went away after a few days. Not so this time. This time I seemed to not be able to make them go away. I needed some medical help. And I went and saw the doctor.

Now, I go to a family practice, where there are like 10 doctors that work there. I’ve been there probably half a dozen times, and I have never once seen the same person before. Each time it is always a different doctor than I saw the time before. Anyway, I digress.

When I check in, the first thing that I notice is that the receptionist is the wife of a guy I work with. I knew she worked there, but she was a back office worker. I guess she was filling in for the day. I think out of curtesy she didn’t ask “and what are you here for today?”. Nice.

Anyway, after a blood pressure check (which was notably high) and a weigh in (which was the same as the last time I was there) the doc saw me and told me all I ever wanted to know about the big H. He asked why I wasn’t using any topical ointment, like Preparation H. I’ll told you what I told him: “I’d much rather walk around with an itchy butt than with my crack filled with a vasaline like substance”.

Then I got the orders to bend over. He did the exam, and was happy to report that while I had them, they were pretty mild and they weren’t thrombosed or strangulated

Next he needed to probe a little further, to check for internal hems. So, I got the lubed finger. He was very talkative while I was going through the procedure. It was mostly uncomfortable, but survivable. Luckily, he found nothing bad on the inside. He wrote me a script for a steroid cream and I was on my way.

So what now? I have to limit my BMs to less than 5 minutes, and make sure my stool is relatively soft. I also need to promote good hygiene since leftover stool can cause irritation. He recommends using baby wipes. Nice.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 10th, 2004 at 11:34 am and is filed under Random Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.