Tarkblog

The final chapter in the wedding trilogy.

After the reception, we booked it over to the Holiday Inn (after calling up Tony Parrish and making him join us). Irwin wussed out, because he had to get home and “let the dogs out”. Or maybe he was just patching things up. Either way, I believe both of those statements were permission asking phrases for a potty break in the game of Zoom.

Ahh, the holiday inn. The first time I went, with TP, we showed up to some wackos on stage playing weird shit. I believe we were some of the only ones in there (besides the bartender and the band).

The second time I went, with Dooley, Meyer, and Mrs. Meyerapopadopalus, our venture brought yet another band and nobody in the vicinity. The band consisited of two people, one of which had the job of pressing “go” on the keyboard to play the midi file that they would be singing/playing to. Awful. The piano player completely butchered “Piano Man”. The rendition sounded like a version that would be used if you wanted to play piano man, but didn’t have the copyright, so you changed it just enough to make it legal. In other words, it was a %RANDOM_VERSION_OF_TRACH.

This weekend’s visit, my third, brought no surprises. As we entered, Dooley and I noticed a large amount of old people outside the door. We pondered if they were the displaced seniors that would normally have been playing shuffleboard at the senior center had we not taken it over. But I digress.

We go to find a place to sit, and lo and behold, there really isn’t one. The place is pretty full. There’s one table big enough to told the 6 of us that would be there, and it was dirty. So, Shawn asked the Holiday Inn staff woman nearby if we could just sit anywhere or if we needed to be seated. In her gruffest voice, “Pat” responded that it was a bar and we could sit anywhere. Pat may or may not have been a woman, and she most definitely could have kicked any of our asses.

We found a roundtable, and I ordered us a round of margaritas. She asked us if we wanted salt on the glass, and I said “No salt… NO SALT for the Margarita”, but it had large grains of salt on it.

Anyway, the band started playing. It again consisted of two people, one of which was a fairly attractive woman. Her job was to loosely play the keyboard while making sure that the midi files loaded into it were running right, his job was to play guitar. They weren’t bad, but they were definitely cheesy. In other words, a proper Holiday Inn band.

At some point Dooley told me I should get some soup from the soup bar. I inquired, and found out that the soup and salad bar was 7.95, which was more than I was going to pay, particularly after eating lots of cake at the reception. I asked the lady how much it would be just for the “soup” bar, and she told me just to go and get some, since they were “going to throw it out anyway”. So I did. And it was good.

And a little bit later, I got a second bowl (after she told me to keep eating as much as I wanted).

And we ordered Amaretto Sours.

And then the I took a nosedive. I didn’t feel that good, though I wasn’t drunk, but I went to the facilities. And pooped. Then I came back and sat down, and again felt pretty bad. So I went and poo-pooed again, twice. Then I came back and my stomach felt like I had just eaten something incredibly rotten. I told Annie that we were going to have to leave, much to the dismay of everyone else who was having a good time. I think the lesson learned here is to pass on the free soup that’s been sitting in the kettle all day.

So, they went to the Buzz, another dive where you can get a buffalo bourbon burger and listen to bad karaoke. I went home and poo-pooed yet again, and promptly passed out. The next morning we got up, I made a Meat Pie(tm), and some boiled liver sausage parfaits (the subjects of another blog), and then the Dooleys left and I watched a NASCAR race.

Oh, and did I mention that we are all incredibly STOKED for Strassenfestivus? Mark your calendars - The first weekend of August! It looks like this year we may stay over and participate in the second day activities ass thewheelsonthebusgoroundandround (chili cookoff, 5k run, etc).

BOO YAH.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 21st, 2005 at 4:07 pm and is filed under Random Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.